Me...

Here I am. Watching Pushing Daisies on tv and thinking about my life. I want to be as honest as i possibly can on here. I am struggling. I am struggling with my Spiritual life. I dont really know what to do. I feel so terrible. So undeserving of Hi amazing grace - which i really am. That makes it all even more beautiful - the fact that I am undeserving of His grace and love and yet He still chose to die for me, and i love Him for that! It's just that I feel completely fake.. Full of layers, wearing a mask... So ... oh that i could find a way to reach to His heart.. that He would strip my layers away, just lay me bare and broken before Him.. Who am I kidding, I can't even get myself to pray or rea the Bible.. How wretched am I??? But i love Him.. I do and i want Him to know that.. Oh, Lord, please believe me.. and please save me from myself and draw me closer to your great Love! I need you SO much.. more than life itself and i can't live without you.. You're the reason my heart is beating right now...

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